Restless Nights? How to Set Yourself Up for Better Sleep
It’s 3 AM, and you’re staring at the ceiling. You try counting sheep. You flip your pillow to the cool side. You even attempt that deep breathing technique you saw online. Still, your brain refuses to shut off. Sound familiar?
For many of us, sleep isn’t just about being tired or needing more hours in bed. It’s about the racing thoughts, the midnight wake-ups, and the endless tossing and turning. It’s about waking up exhausted even when we think we got enough sleep.
So, what’s really going on? And more importantly—what might help?
The Modern Sleep Struggle
There was a time when sleep was simple. The sun went down, people wound down, and by nightfall, the world was quiet. But today? The world never really turns off.
We’re overstimulated. Between doom-scrolling before bed, answering late-night emails, or binge-watching just one more episode, our brains rarely get a break. Instead of winding down, we spend the last hours of our day soaking in blue light and stress.
And then, when we finally try to sleep, our minds keep racing. We replay embarrassing moments from ten years ago, overanalyze conversations, or suddenly remember that bill we forgot to pay.
If sleep feels difficult, it’s not necessarily because your body doesn’t want to rest. It may be that your brain isn’t getting the right signals.
Common Barriers to Sleep
1. Your Stress Response Is Overactive
Your nervous system has two modes: “fight-or-flight” (stress mode) and “rest-and-digest” (relaxation mode). If you’ve been running on stress all day—whether from work, anxiety, or just everyday life—it may be hard for your body to switch into sleep mode.
🔹 What may help: Create a buffer zone between your day and your bedtime. Instead of going straight from stress to sleep, give your brain time to unwind. Try reading, journaling, or even a simple five-minute meditation before bed.
2. You’re Stuck in a Sleep-Deprivation Cycle
Ever wake up feeling exhausted, but instead of going to bed early that night, you stay up even later? When we don’t sleep well, we often crave distractions—late-night TV, scrolling, snacks—because we want to feel better. But these habits can make it harder to sleep the next night.
🔹 What may help: Instead of forcing yourself to sleep, start by fixing your wake-up time. Getting up at the same time every morning, even after a rough night, may help reset your internal clock over time.
3. Your Bedtime Routine Sends Mixed Signals
Many of us use our beds for more than just sleep—watching TV, checking emails, scrolling through social media. This can train your brain to associate your bed with wakefulness instead of rest.
🔹 What may help: Try making your bed a space reserved for sleep and relaxation. If you can’t sleep after 20 minutes, get up and do something calming before trying again.
Small Changes That May Support Better Sleep
If you’re looking for ways to improve sleep, experimenting with different strategies may be helpful. Here’s a simple one-week plan to test what works best for you:
🌙 Night 1: Reduce screen time at least one hour before bed. Instead, read, stretch, or listen to calming music.
🌙 Night 2: Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time—even on weekends.
🌙 Night 3: Write down any worries or to-dos before bed to help clear your mind.
🌙 Night 4: Avoid caffeine after noon. Even if you think it doesn’t affect you, your nervous system may react differently.
🌙 Night 5: Set your bedroom temperature to cool (around 18°C or 65°F). A cooler room can support sleep.
🌙 Night 6: Try a relaxation technique before bed—deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or a guided meditation.
🌙 Night 7: Reflect. Did you notice any patterns? Which changes made the biggest difference?
Final Thoughts: Prioritizing Sleep as Self-Care
While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for sleep struggles, small adjustments to your routine and environment may help set you up for more restful nights. If stress, anxiety, or racing thoughts are making sleep difficult, working with a therapist can provide additional tools to navigate these challenges.
At Lotus Counselling, we offer a supportive space to explore what’s keeping you up at night and strategies that may work for you. Book a free 15-minute consultation to learn more about how therapy can support your well-being.